Yesterday Ceilidh and Connor got picked up at school at lunchtime. Nanna then took them to a birthday party for a Scottish Lady who was turning 106!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Ceilidh danced at her 105th birthday last year! She said that the Swords was her favourite dance.

So that is what Ceilidh performed yesterday, and the fling. And Connor did his Pas de Basques. Nanna said they were a HIT! They even got to do it with the piper, which was great!!

 

Annie was pretty bright and with it, mum said and she told Ceilidh again that Swords was what she did when she was a little girl!! Connor was quite miffed he didnt get any birthday cake tho!!

 

Photo to add soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now I know that some of my very close friends and MY immediate family know what a struggle day to day life is here in this household of horror. But there are some people who I have my strong suspicion check this blog, who have no idea just how sick M is, and how tough it is for me, and for the kids.

 

I don't post that, because this blog is not my private journal (and believe me, I have one!) where I rant and rave and scream and say 'its not fair' etc etc etc. This is 'snippets of the Griffith Gang' - the nice bits, the funny bits, and sometimes when I get overwhelmed, sometimes the other side raises it's  ugly head, but it's only for a moment.

 

Every day here is a struggle, for all of us. The amount of medication M is on is not only astronomical in quantity but in the dollar amount too. And theyre talking about upping the ADs again, because they are just not working. Every day I have 10,20,30 text messages from him, whilst he is at work, or at soccer, or at the shops telling me how he is worthless, how nothing is worth it, how he hates himself and hates his job and hates everything in general - EVERY SINGLE DAY I HAVE THIS.

 

Every day I ask him to 'feed the kids' or 'bath the kids' or 'mow the lawn' and every time I do it myself because there are only so many times you can ask before you're going to hit YOUR head against a brick wall. For the past 6 Mondays (as he has Monday off work to go to the Psychs) I have asked him to come home and clean up around the pool and the back yard. Every Monday he finishes with the psych at 11.30 and then he goes and visits his Mum (and I am pleased his is doing this - HOWEVER) 3 hours later he is still there - then rushes home to get here in time to pick up the kids from school and then he is sitting on the lounge with a cuppa when I walk in at 4pm from work - and there he stays - all night.

 

He is sick - he is very sick. And it is not something that he can help alot of the time (although it frustrates the hell out of me). At this point in time, because we are a family, I will continue to assist him in every way I can, but it is very tough. The kids know that when daddy is asleep on the lounge, no amount of jumping on him will wake him up - he is drugged to the eyeballs on temazapan and phenergan to try and stop his mind racing so he can get some sleep. Problem is that it lasts into the morning, and then he can't get up for work and doesn't WANT to get up for work- and is continually late. His memory is SHOT to pieces, let me give you and example - Last Monday he bought me a pair of 2nd hand Collerado's from his mothers shop. He asked me to try them on when I got home, I did, we discussed that they were nice, but a little tight. The next morning he asked if I had tried them on, I said 'yes, with you there, they were a little tight but I like them so will put up with it.' On Wednesday I had the brainwave of taking out the innersole. I sent him an sms that said 'took the innersole out - they fit good now' On Thursday I get a text from him that says 'Not sure if I asked you, but did those shoes I got from mums shop fit you!' I KID YOU NOT!!!! This is just one instance of what happens all day every day!! The poor bastard!

 

So for those people out there who think WE'RE being rude by not contacting them and asking how they are - walk a day in MY shoes and see that it is hard enough to get up in the mornings to deal with what my day brings, then to cope with what problems others have. My phones are constantly on silent. I don't like talking to people atm. (as well as most of the calls on the phone are debt collectors anyway). I love the internet because I can deal with situations and communicate with people in my time and space, I can choose to ignore specific queries in emails if I so wish, and there is no stress involved. At present I am working 3 days a week, I hate doing the extra day this term, but felt it was imperative as we owe my parents thousands and the MIL thousands - so by accepting this extra day this term, I was hoping to get some of that out of the way - although it is now week 5 and I paid mum back, only to have our hot water service blow up last Monday,and now we owe them $800 again :(

 

There's been the whole drama of CJs change of school. Thankfully she seems happy - but I still owe the old school $4000 and there is all the guilt of changing her away from her friends when she is so fragile herself, and believe me, she is. She was seeing the counsellor at the old school on a regular basis, and I will be going up to meet the counsellor at the Local so I can explain the situation there too. I also need to look into anxiety counselling for her as she has some major issues that appeared after M's suicide attempt last year.

 

I thank profusly my family and friends who insist on taking the children off my hands for a few hours, or meet me for coffee so I can rant and rave or so we can just laugh and try and forget things. My relatives who take me aside at family functions and ask how things are going, and how M is doing and how I am doing - thankyou for caring. And those friends who offer to do things for me, even though I turn them down again and again - it is all noted and I love you all for it.

 

I don't like to talk about it. To bring it all to the surface, like I have just done in this post, will make a very hard day for me. I prefer to sweep it under and just 'deal'. After all, that's what I believe life is about - just work with the cards that are dealt you, you may not like them, they may not be fair - but there is good in there too.

 

So there you have it - that's how things are atm. I dont want sympathy - Im not posting this because Im feeling "woe is me". Im posting this because Im angry that people think we are being insular and wrapped up in our own little world and have no reason to - WE HAVE EVERY REASON TO!!! We do the best we can. If the best we can do is not good enough for you - then PISS OFF.

 

 

You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised

The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.

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Take the Test to Find Out.

 

cj had 3 bowls of my vege soup/stew

connor ate his in 3 minutes flat and dee at most of hers

Plus enough there for about 2 more meals for the 4 of us (because Mark doesnt eat!)

Pretty good for a $3 vege soup pack, $2 soup bones, a cup of soup/barley mix, a cup of mini pasta and a tin of tomatoes!!

WOOHOO!

And best of all was I stuffed it all in the soup pot before I left for dancing yesterday arvo. And when I got home 5 hours later it was done and tender as! I had a cup then ( i hadn't eaten, took food for kids not me) put the rest in the fridge, then tonight I scooped off the fat - gave it to the dog (who was in dog heaven!) and fed us all again tonight!

Just call me Martha!! *g*

 

Mark is watching golf on TV, it is 12.30 in the morning. The game is in Ireland, on 'THE MANOR COURSE' in Limmerick.

He said 'i remember when we were driving through Limmerick and all you kept doing was trying to remember bloody limmericks that you had heard or your mother had taught you! It drove me nuts' (well it did, didnt it.....)

 

ANyway..... here is one of my favourites...

 

 

 

Darcy's speech cracks me up! She says so much and thinks she is 'Miss Adult' cept she can't pronounce things correctly or ennunciate properly.

She just came up to me and said, well I thought said 'Feel my toes Mummy' I said 'Are they cold?' 'No Mummy, FEEL MY TOES, I want some more now' and she was pointing up to the loungeroom.

"OHHHH - You're finished your toast!!!'

 

 

  

Connor did his first competition today, at Campbelltown.

Talk about 'Proud Mummy' not only was it he on the stage, but the two 5 year olds next to him are also my students, and it was their first comp too. Plus another newbie in Beginners who walked away with  a 2nd and a 3rd! (and my other pre-prems all did super well as well! ONYA Brodie, Greer, Cailin and Ashley! Then my prems scooped the pool in the arvo - woohoo Kirstin, Sarah and Lauren!)

 

And Ceilidh Jo had her last Beginners competition and WON the Lilt and the Reel and got 3rd in the ST!!

 

 

But back to THE LAD....

 

He was just soooo excited. Wanted to know when it was his turn, and when they finally called the Primary up he raced off so quickly to the marshalling area. They got on the stage and all crammed up together. Thankfully there was a live piper, who S>L>O>W>E>D right down as he noticed that the kids couldnt fit the 16 in to the faster timing.

 

He bowed at the end and then none of them wanted to come off!!

 

Then, when they did the prize giving, he skipped up to the area and showed off with the girls.

 

BY THE WAY - HE GOT 2nd!!!!!!

 

 

CONNOR LOVED HIS NEW PIRATE GEAR I PICKED UP ON SPECIAL AT THE IGA THAT WAS CLOSING DOWN AT BRADBURY! He even went to bed with the musket! Protecting his sister! LOL!

 

 

 

Its not even been a week at the new school yet and already CJ is trying to see what she can and can't get away with. She chucked a MAJOR tanty on Poppa on Wednesday and refused to get in the car because 'i want to go back to Laurens place to play, I dont WANT to go to dancing, Lauren said I could come back!". she was yelling 'NO NO" and people were looking at dad (poor dad). And it wasn't until he got out his phone to ring me that she said 'Sorry poppa, dont ring mummy' and jumped in the car.

 

Boy did I let RIP when I found out!! I said to her "In your 3.5 years at WC did yoU EVER go over to a friends place after school?' 'No' 'Well then, just because your new school is around the corner, that DOES NOT MEAN that you can suddenly start tripping off in the afternoons. You do NOT make arrangements with friends to visit. and UNTIL you clean your room and do your chores around the house no friends can come over AT ALL' 'But even in the back yard?' 'NO! Because they will want to play in your room and your room is TOOO MESSY to have friends visit.'

So after many tears and 'wailing and nashing of teeth' she agreed.

 

I am glad that she is making friends, but I must make sure I stay "TOUGH" at the start here so that the boundaries are set. Tough love is my motto - and hopefully it will see me through...

BUT, I AM NOT Looking forward to the teenage years.................

 

 

 

This is a photo from our Mothers Day BBQ at Campbell Hill Reserve. My cousins, aunties, mum, sister and Nanna (and daughter) are all in the photo. My delightfully tasteful cousin is giving the bird - which sums her up in a single gesture. I will photoshop her finger out of it, so that Nanna can have a photo of the girls, which is why it was taken.

More shots from the day include Ceilidh and DiDi, Dad playing Cricket and 'the mob!'

 

 

 

  

    

 

 

 

 

 

Here are some pix of CJ and Con, in the same uniform, ready to go up to school.

 

She was very excited, Connor is very excited that she is going to school with him.

 

She had a great day, raved about the class, so let us hope that continues!!!

 

Oh and I got Con's school photos back today - sooo cute! And Dee's last week - very very cute too! Just waiting for CJs now, but she only had them done last Monday - so it will be a while before they come back.

 

 

My son has huge tickets on himself.

Last night I said to him 'Come here gorgeous.'

 

He replied 'Mum, Im handsome'

I laughed and said 'really ,and who told you that?'

 

Connor's reply 'I just know it myself!'

........ but you'll never be replaced"

 

This is what Ceilidh's teacher told her yesterday when CJ gave her the note and explained that today would be her very last day at WCCS.

Ceilidh also handed out notes to her friends with her phone number and email address on it.

 

Today was bittersweet for her. She said it was lovely and Mrs duPlooy was really lovely with her, and she got all her books and pencil case and everything, and she was allowed to do a luckydip, even though she didnt have enough points for this week.

 

Mrs du Plooy also gave Ceilidh a beautiful present of some metalic pencils and a 'how to draw people' book, as she knows how much CJ loves to draw! Ceilidh gave her a little angel teddy bear statue.

 

I got a phone call from the school office to see if there was anything they could do to help the situation, and they also said would I like for Ceilidh's name to be put on the enrollment list for Year 7, it wouldn't cost anything to do that, and she would leave the others names on the list too. I thought that was really lovely and I said 'yes please' Because who knows what the situation will be for Highschool.

I wish I could post a photo of Ceilidh and Mrs DP but I forgot to send her camera with her today...

 

On a really good note too, I saw the principal of the Local and she has been put in the class with her wee dancing friend. It is a 2/3 composite GAT class. I am very happy for Ceilidh, she was so excited to know she was in Ls class.